Men Tips

posted by infomktjv on Sep 9

Relationships come in all kinds of packages. You can go for mini-relationships that end after you get her into bed or you can go for the whole nine yards. Either way, you can’t just wander around out there in the world hoping for the right woman to fall into your lap. You have to know why you are out there in the first place and recognize the potential relationship for what it is..potential.

A lot of guys think that if they are looking for a brief interlude of sexual passion that they can skip the whole relationship part of the deal. This is why they are still looking. No matter how brief the encounter, a relationship is built for the period of time that the two of you are together, even if it ends up being only a few short hours. There is no magical formula that presents a shortcut. If you want to get the relationship you want, then you have to know what it is you are looking for.

Any time we set a goal in our life, we have to at least understand what that goal is and have a basic outline of how we are going to go about getting there. We can’t lie on the couch all day and proclaim we want a lot of money. If we wanted a lot of money we wouldn’t be lounging around without any direction in our lives. When we want something, we either act on it or we change our wants. Because wanting something without action is just too frustrating.

Let’s go for gold here and say that you are looking for someone to share the rest of your life with. That’s a pretty ambitious goal to accomplish on a Tuesday night. Just like other goals, we have to chunk it down into reasonable steps. This means that we start with the basics, like I want to meet women with potential. We are going to assume that you know what that potential looks like.

If you don’t then you need to figure it out otherwise you won’t know if you are wasting your time. Once we know that we want a woman with potential, we need to go find a few women that look like good prospects and engage their interests. If we can’t get them interested, we certainly aren’t going to figure out what kind of potential they have.

Once we understand how to get women talking and start evaluating our options, we either have a woman or two (or three or four!) to date and learn about to help out the process of narrowing the field. When we have a few women on the burner at a time, we usually have to make up our minds pretty quickly. Women usually aren’t into sharing. In fact, most women believe in a lot of monogamy from early in the relationship. This might not be fair, but long gone are the days of dating and sleeping around. You will find a handful of women who are perfectly fine with this view, but after awhile they are going to start forcing you to choose.

The process you build is absolutely going to be reflected back at you. My buddy Jason used to do what he called “speed shopping for a wife.” His ultimate goal was to get married and he felt that the more women he dated and screwed at once the faster he was going to find what he was looking for. His reputation began to precede him and the women he picked up already knew that his behavior was classic “player” material. The problem was he found the woman that he wanted and he dumped all his other girls. But she knew of his past behavior and didn’t really believe in his proclaimed commitment and within three days she was with another guy assuming that there was no double standard.

Jason’s heart was broken and he decided that women were untrustworthy despite the fact that he had been doing the same thing for years. What you put out there will be reflected back, usually because it is believed that you totally approve of the behavior since you were doing it yourself.

Part of your process is knowing that you are capable of making the decisions you need to without hurting anyone (including you) along the way. If you aren’t going to be keen on knowing that your pick of the litter is out sleeping with someone else, then you really ought to check your signals from time to time. You can’t expect everyone to respond the way you want them to unless you are up front about your expectations, including double standards.

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