Men Tips

posted by infomktjv on Sep 9

Fearlessness is the lack of fear. Bravery is the ability to proceed despite your fear. Confidence is the belief that you are capable and that not being successful is not the same thing as failure. In order to be confident we also have to be fearless. The absence of fear comes from practicing, in every single situation in your life, methods of dealing with your fears that make fear obsolete. You might not believe that anyone can really walk through this life, especially when it comes to dealing with women, without fear. But it absolutely most definitely can be done.

Fear is the result of believing we are going to be unhappy or uncomfortable later. Even if later means in three seconds, fear is not really about what is happening at the moment. Think about it. If you are about to approach a woman you find very attractive and you are putting off your approach because you are fearful it isn’t the act of walking that is causing you such anxiety. The future unhappiness is the way you think you might feel if she shoots you down.

When we approach any topic with fear and we notice that we are getting fearful, we can chunk it back down into baby steps. In our heads, we know we have not been fearful of walking since we were about a year old. We aren’t really fearful of talking since we are pretty accomplished at this task as well. We aren’t afraid of smiling or saying our name. We are afraid of her response. This is usually because we have built up an award winning scenario in our minds that includes her reaction, our embarrassment, and a whole bunch of other unrealistic things that we just toss in for dramatic effect. So we are essentially all worked up about something that only exists in our minds. Get back in the moment since your scenario hasn’t happened yet.

Additionally, we take a woman’s negative reaction as a personal assault on our self image. Why? What happens if she shoots us down? We aren’t any less alone than we are right now. What happens if she totally over reacts and tosses her drink in our face and we drive home and are pulled over for speeding and the officer smells alcohol all over us and we get a breathalyzer test and we have to explain how we struck out. Wow. That’s quite a scenario, but really honestly and without judgment, who cares? Who cares if we are forced to admit that a woman reacted badly when we asked her out? Do you think that every guy gets ever woman he ever goes after except you? Who cares if she reacts badly in public? She is only making herself look bad and has warded off any possibility of any other guy in the area asking her out. So what really is the big deal? None of these things reflect poorly on you.

We fear things because we believe that they are somehow a personal statement of our own ineptitude. We fear what might happen when in most circumstances, it won’t. We convince ourselves that our fear is not only warranted, but normal. How normal does it ever feel to feel bad? Feeling bad is not “normal” just as feeling good is not “normal.” Remove the judgment about feelings and you can deal with them with ease and confidence.

We also fear things when we believe something specific about the way the situation reflects on the person. Perhaps you believe that any guy who wears a woman’s drink is a loser. Why? Maybe someone told you so or maybe someone laughed at another guy and called him a loser when you were younger or any other host of situations that may have given you such a belief. Why can’t the problem be with the woman who can’t act reasonable in public? Why isn’t her behavior a problem? When you start really digging into the beliefs you have about the reflection of situations, you can start to get rid of them. Then you get rid of the fear.

All of this takes some practice. Not one single guy is born into this world with super power women skills. They are learned, practiced, and tested. Start with some of your smaller fears and work your way up. But there is one simple idea that can cure all of your fears. You can not be afraid of anything while you are being completely present in the moment. If you are only in the moment, and I mean all of you nit just some of you, you aren’t considering the future possibilities so you can’t be fearful of what might happen down the road. It is really that simple. However, that is not easy, and there is a difference.

Let’s say that you are afraid of bugs. You believe that your fear of bugs make you less manly, but you are really afraid of the bugs nonetheless. By removing your focus on the bug’s potential to cause you unhappiness later, you are able to deal with that fear and find what you believe that supports your fear. You can find evidence of your right to be fearful with any situation. You can also choose to find evidence that supports being fearless if you change your perception.

Practicing being fearless in every possible situation gives you an opportunity to hone your skills and thus learn to talk to women without the fear of rejection. Sometimes you can’t refocus your energy until you actually deal with your issues about women. Do you feel that women are better than you are? Are you afraid that they aren’t going to see that you are a good guy? Are you afraid that they are going to judge you and act poorly toward you? Do you believe that this might make you a loser?

Don’t be hasty to pass your fear off as irrational. All fear is actually rational. Fear comes from a real and transformable belief about you and the situation you are in or came from. Fear is the direct result of not knowing that whatever happens in the future is something that will somehow benefit you and is something that you are totally equipped to handle. Thus, when you are working on releasing your fear, you are also working on changing your attitude about what it means to be in an unpleasant or less than optimal situation.

The more you practice letting go of your fear based beliefs and the more you are able to let of go of fear, the sooner you will be able to get on with your life. If you were lacking fear, how easy would it be to talk to a woman, ask for her phone number, and even ask her out on the spot? The simplicity life takes on when we start dumping our fears one after the other is really rather amazing. We can be totally liberated from our fear based beliefs if we dedicate our time to learning how to be free from it. Imagine the changes in your life if you could dump all your fears relating to women.

Practicing these skills takes a little time and a commitment on you end. If it is really something you want then you can go and get it. There is never any indication that you have to be afraid of women. Just because we all are or were at any given moment doesn’t mean that it’s any type of requirement. Once you sift through the fears you have about women and why you spend so much time worrying about what they are going to think might happen, you can spend your time getting to know more women on a very intimate and fearless basis. But of course, there is no magic bullet that you can swallow. You have to take it one fear at a time and one moment at a time until you are finally able to walk through this world in complete fearlessness.

If you have found my article interesting, I have come across a site which is at the moment giving away a massive free Book titled Secrets To Dating Beautiful Women. I have personally found this one of the best books on the subject of Dating and Relationships and I highly recommend you read it. It’s a must read.
Download it from;
www.secrets2datingsuccess.com

posted by infomktjv on Sep 9

As you develop your flirting skills, you might want to start thinking not only about how to effectively flirt or how to flirt with complete and total intention, but you might want to consider what to avoid. There are a few very common mistakes that men tend to make when they are in a situation that includes and even encourages flirting. Because flirting can be fun and exciting, many men are prone to their mistakes.

If you are interested in flirting with a woman, don’t sit back and wait for some sort of flirt fest to begin. Waiting for external stimuli to get you going is perfectly natural. Don’t wait for a woman to get the ball rolling. There is no reason why you can’t be straight forward enough and start the flirting and find out what it may or may not develop into.

Flirting should never be an exercise in rearranging the truth to suit it better to your liking. When you are flirting, you are still talking and communicating and you are still being taken at your word. If you start lying now, then the lying will be harder and harder to break out of. Lying, even a simple omission or misrepresentation of who you are and what you stand for is still lying even when you are flirting. If you don’t think that you’re good enough to get the woman you’re flirting with lying won’t make you any more appealing, especially when she finds out about it.

Emotional dependence is unattractive. Just because you found a woman who enjoys your attention, who flirts well with you and with whom you enjoy flirting with, doesn’t mean that you are now married. Let her be and let her roam around without your presence. It is much more enjoyable when a woman has actually gone and checked out your competition and still comes back to you in the end. Telling a woman that you can’t live without her isn’t sweet flirting, it is a desperate act to keep a woman with you and most women find it completely out of line and irritating.

Don’t wriggle, squiggle, or mess around with all of the buttons on your shirt or perform other nervous habits. Fidgeting is not an attractive quality especially from someone who is trying to establish a strong, self confident connection. If you are all that self confident, you wouldn’t need to fidget. If you’re not, then fidgeting will let her know that you are bluffing your self confidence.

Learn how to let go of your flirting mistakes. So what if you made an error or if you said something that wasn’t totally cool? It happens. And when it happens how well you handle it is usually more important than the whole exchange in the first place. If you can recover from a mistake, you are showing confidence and that you are a flexible guy with the capacity to change under the circumstances when necessary. That is a quality that is much more important than whether or not you flirt well.

Don’t get yourself all worked up. Being out and enjoying the company of a beautiful woman, or in this case several beautiful women is what most guys would consider to be a fantastic night out. Why get too hung up on the details and just enjoy the process? The process of being in the presence of women, flirting, enjoying each other’s company is a dream date for some. Being overwhelmed by the process or being too worried about saying the wrong thing is just internal pressure that you simply don’t need.

If you have found my article interesting, I have come across a site which is at the moment giving away a massive free Book titled Secrets To Dating Beautiful Women. I have personally found this one of the best books on the subject of Dating and Relationships and I highly recommend you read it. It’s a must read.
Download it from;
www.secrets2datingsuccess.com

posted by infomktjv on Sep 9

The eyes are the one window of communication that offer you gestures, emotions, and even a hint of truth if you know how to really watch them and understand the way a woman uses her eyes. They say that the eyes can tell you whether a woman is lying, whether she is sexually attracted to you, or whether or not you are with someone with integrity.

When a woman indicates with her eyes that she is either interested in meeting you or interested in something about you, she knows how to be subtle, how to gather the information she needs in order to determine whether you are grabbing her attention. It’s a slight movement and so many guys miss the indicating factor. Often a woman will notice something about you, their eyes will make a quick and ascertaining flick downward toward whatever it is about you that they are curious about. Most guys miss this slight action, but they don’t miss the inevitable eye contact that follows a woman’s initial interest.

Eye contact can give you so much information as you are meeting and getting to know a woman. Some women will indicate early on that they are a heartache waiting to happen with their eyes. Watch their sincerity, and you can see it in their eyes. So often we want to believe words over other indicating factors. If you are getting the sense that a woman’s eyes are giving you a signal that directly conflicts with what her words are telling you, then she probably is.

While it is true that a lack of eye contact might indicate that a person is covering, lying, or creating stories, it can also indicate a significantly low self esteem. In either case, a lack of eye contact usually indicates that you are signing on for way more than you are aware of and it might mean more than you are really ready to bargain for. A low self esteem is not sexy no matter how Hollywood portrays the sweet damsel in distress. Lying certainly isn’t sexy. If a woman can’t hold your gaze, or if you can’t hold hers, there’s a definite problem.

The way a woman looks at you can be intoxicating. They do know that they can move mountains with their eyes if they look in just the right way at just the right guy at just the right time. A woman can use her eyes to indicate that she wants you, that she is bored, and she can use that look to use you. If you pay attention to the way she looks at people when she talks about more mundane things (like the way she looks at someone when she orders at a restaurant) you can usually figure out if her look for you is genuine. When a woman is truly moved, her look is indicated by her emotions. Her emotions will dim but certainly not go out entirely from the time she looks at you to the time she looks at the wait staff.

There is such an intense level of intimacy that can happen through eye contact that some guys actually shy away from a woman who is strong enough to communicate her emotions through her eyes. It makes us uncomfortable because it feels like she can see right through us. Eye contact is simply about making a human connection. Whether that leads to sexual intimacy or it leads to a more platonic intimacy that just enables us to feel connected in the world we live in, it can feel a little unsettling if we are not very confident in ourselves. Start small and work from there if you know you have issues with prolonged intimate eye contact. Start by looking directly at people when you are in situations that you have to speak, like at the mini-mart or the grocery store or at work.

You don’t have to push your limits of comfort for too long, but just take a few moments to connect. Once you have made the connection, hold it until you feel like you need to look away. With a little practice, eye contact with a woman you are attracted to doesn’t seem quite so out of touch. In fact, with practice you can end up being that guy that isn’t afraid to look deeply into her eyes and give her the vibes that connect her to you. It can be really powerful and really awesome.

If you have found my article interesting, I have come across a site which is at the moment giving away a massive free Book titled Secrets To Dating Beautiful Women. I have personally found this one of the best books on the subject of Dating and Relationships and I highly recommend you read it. It’s a must read.
Download it from;
www.secrets2datingsuccess.com

posted by infomktjv on Sep 9

In a public scene, women are harder to get to when their friends are around. They seem to be surrounded by an invisible bubble of friendship that is intentionally designed to keep out the creeps and the needy. Which might mean that you have to enter the ring of friendship before you are allowed access to the one that you want. This doesn’t have to be a big deal, and in fact may very well be of assistance to you considering that you are the only one who knows which one you’re interested in.

You can ask one of the friends to make an introduction if you are able to catch them alone. Be polite and respectable and she just might. However, if you are rejected before you ever get to the one you want, you might want to take it as a general premonition. Women often protect their friends when they have been recently hurt and the likelihood that they are not ready to date again is high if a nice and respectable guy like yourself can’t get a simple introduction. Sometimes, the friend knows the outcome beforehand because she knows the entire situation.

If you’re feeling particularly brave (which is often particularly rewarded) then walk up to the entire group and genuinely compliment one of them that you are not interested in. Something simple like you like her blouse or those jeans look really good on her is enough and then turn to the one that you are interested in, quickly enough so that the one you just complimented doesn’t think that you are hitting on her, and hand out an even better compliment and ask her to dance, for a drink, or whatever suits the environment.

When her friends are being less than stellar, you might find success if you counter their behavior by pointing out that you braved the friendship circle of death in order to just have the opportunity to talk to her for just a few brief minutes. This sweet and honorable self accolade might be enough to get you that dance or that drink you had wanted while still giving her an out that she can use with her friends. If they start in on her, she is now in a position to remind them of the friendship circle of death and how absolutely scary they really are. Really. She should “owe a guy at least that much.”

If you have found my article interesting, I have come across a site which is at the moment giving away a massive free Book titled Secrets To Dating Beautiful Women. I have personally found this one of the best books on the subject of Dating and Relationships and I highly recommend you read it. It’s a must read.
Download it from;
www.secrets2datingsuccess.com

posted by infomktjv on Sep 9

When it comes to religious beliefs, there are any number of issues that can arise from discussing them, invalidating them, and bringing them to the forefront of our conversations. However, religious beliefs attribute to a great many behaviors in our lives and the lives of the women we meet and date that it warrants discussion here.

Men and women between the ages of twenty five and one hundred and five have been exposed, sometimes regularly, to the beliefs that churches hold as truth about sex and sexual behavior. Allowing the church to control what happens in the bedroom makes about as much sense as inviting the government to decide what is appropriate and what is not. Yet because we view religious affiliation as part of our family’s history and culture, and so much of it is driven by guilt enticing proclamations, women in particular have a hard time breaking away from their religious upbringing and countering their beliefs with a more personally appropriate belief.

The churches of the world have a lot to offer when it comes to finding where God fits in our life and how we want to express our beliefs. Yet with a progressing environment all around us, it is hard to stomach the beliefs that were conjured up by men more than two thousand years ago. And I emphasize men. All religious affiliation was created by man’s beliefs in what was appropriate and what wasn’t and what their interpretation of God’s will really was. Inasmuch as we like to think that men have the best interest of everyone in mind, especially when coming up with such powerful documents, women in particular were burdened with a great deal of sexual shame.

Keeping this in mind, it is not uncommon to find that someone is having difficulties breaking out of their religious families and their religious upbringing in order to find their own place among their own determination of God.

When men and women of different religious affiliations meet, there can be a certain level of religious friction that surfaces. Sometimes it is not even obvious that the friction that surfaces is religiously based. In some cases, the beliefs that we developed from the church become a belief of behavioral standard more than an outright religious belief. Those of us who sat in church every Sunday and listened to the degradation of society that was brought about by the sexual promiscuity of the local women might have developed the belief that women who are willing to go for a one night stand are somehow morally corrupt. We may enjoy them while still judging them at the same time. It gets complicated when you bring religious beliefs to the surface.

It is a common rule among social advice, never bring up political or religious conversation when you are trying to make a good impression. People often feel impassioned about their beliefs because they feel threatened by those who disagree with them. We don’t get upset when someone challenges us for our choice of wallpaper or why we think we have to maintain a certain mundane routine because it doesn’t reflect poorly on us. We believe, however, that our religious beliefs might make us seem like someone we profess not to be. So we see the act of challenging our beliefs to be an attack on our faith.

We can develop a certain amount of sexual confusion from just about anywhere, but there seems to be a common string of sexual confusion when it comes to those of us who were brought up in religious households. Religion tends to illegitimize sexual feelings. Religion feeds us shame and misunderstanding regarding sexual desire, and of course sexual action. The truth of the matter is we all get to choose how we feel about it by changing our core belief system.

Did you ever ask someone why they believed in their religious beliefs and they answered your question with, “That’s how I was raised.” So what? Just because our parents decided something for us, or even if we chose it at some point in our lives, doesn’t mean we gave up the right to change our mind about it. In fact, we get to choose what we believe and how we feel about our beliefs every single day. We get to stop affiliating with a certain religion any time we want to. We can usually affiliate with any other religion or a culmination of religious beliefs if we so choose. The churches of the world obviously would prefer that this wouldn’t happen. So much of their business depends on the next generation following in their parents’ footsteps and belonging to the same church as they did all their life.

The sexual issues that many women have regarding their desires and what they have been taught is “right” can seriously leave a guy hanging. Maybe she is saying one things but reacting with a totally different attitude or maybe she is alluding to a specific time frame but won’t outline things for you. Maybe she is so out of touch with her own sexual desires that she isn’t much of a participant in bed. All of these possibilities are real to life examples (and there are most definitely more) of how sexual action can cause conflict against the religious beliefs we grew up with.

When there is an obvious issues, talking about it can be difficult but necessary. Even if you aren’t planning on staying with her for an extended part of your life, you and she can cover some ground, open up her sexual desires without the threat of fear or judgment, and you can have a lot of fun as she grows through it. You will have given her an incredible gift while enjoying her in the process.

Talking about it can be particularly complicated because none of us is always aware of where our sexual dysfunction comes from. In some cases, she might just feel conflicted and not be able to identify why she feels that way. In other cases, she might not even realize that she is feeling conflicted or that she is sending out confusing messages about her level of desire and commitment and her willingness to act on those feelings.

When we have issues of our own, we tend to believe as we were taught by our religious group, that we are rather dirty and scummy men for wanting sex, for having sex, and for allowing women to like having sex with us. This can come through in any number of ways, including feeling as though we aren’t good enough to be with the women we really want to be with. A lot of guys who are threatened by a strong assertive woman are so because of the beliefs about women that they were taught in church as a child. Women had a definite expectation to uphold and when they don’t we feel like perhaps they are “evil” on a subconscious level. Finding the heart of many of our expectations of women can be traced back to our childhood church days and the expectations that we were given. Breaking through that is actually pretty easy once you recognize where it came from.

If you have found my article interesting, I have come across a site which is at the moment giving away a massive free Book titled Secrets To Dating Beautiful Women. I have personally found this one of the best books on the subject of Dating and Relationships and I highly recommend you read it. It’s a must read.
Download it from;
www.secrets2datingsuccess.com