posted by TotalGSD on Apr 2
So here’s the situation - you and your spouse have both decided to get a divorce. Fine. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball like that. Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world. No matter how much you have been hurt by what you’ve done or said to each other, you must realize that a divorce is a new beginning for both of you. Unfortunately, there’s no official manual for how to deal with divorce. Although each person must find his or her path out of it, there are few things you can do to save yourself a lot of additional pain.
First, let’s talk money. If you have a lot of money, getting a divorce can be either very hard or a walk in the park for obvious reasons, depending on the person you’re divorcing. If you have little or no money, and your wife supported you while you were together, you’ll probably won’t pay the attorney’s fees, but after she cuts your off financially, you’ll have to be quick on your feet to avoid starvation and sleeping on a friend’s couch for a couple of months. So, you need to have a few grand (5 to 6 will do) stashed away to help you transition from Married Filing Jointly to Single tax status. This money will come in handy when you start looking for a new apartment, maybe a new car, and maybe - and I really hope you’re not in that position - a new job.
OK, so let’s recap - at a minimum you’ll need: 1) A few grand, 2) New apartment. If you and your ex wife had children, they’ll probably stay with her. Make sure your new place is within a few miles from your former home, so you can visit your children often. This is really a very important step so don’t mess it up. Children come first. Do your best to make the transition for them as painless as possible. If your children are out of the house, have a frank chat with them and explain how you feel. They’ll try their best to understand, as long as you and their mother are happy with your decision.
After you secure yourself with a new place, and your children are taken care of, take some time off to reflect on what happened. Try to see the situation not only from your point of view, but from your ex spouse’s too. Do not point fingers and blame anybody for what happened. Crap happens. Such is life. It’s unfair, hard, unjust, full of pain, but it is also full of joy, adventure, pleasures, happiness, laughter, love, and excitement. Do not forget that.
Life is richer than the little slice you’ve lived with your ex spouse. Realize that. Slowly, time will pass, your wounds will heal, and things will fall back into place again. There is a saying: “God is always a good God.” Breathe deeply, do some yoga or take up jogging, and trust yourself that you’ll emerge a better and stronger person from divorce.
As a man, the odds are against you when dealing with finances and your children. When the idea of divorce first comes up, you will want to start planning and getting all financial records in order. Learn more about legal issues
