Men Tips

posted by BuddyF on Jan 5

Every woman has had an experience with a man who was a player at some point in time, and she probably got her heart broken. Let me give you a rundown of a players’ usual mission when meeting women. He stalks the bars and clubs, any places where women are know to frequent. The player is attractive, well groomed and knows how to dress with his own sense of style.

He makes eye contact with a beautiful woman and approaches. After giving her a well-rehearsed smile, he gives her a line. The same line he has already used to hit on a few other women at the bar. Guys who wanna be a player know how to be charming, he gets her laughing and knows how to lower his voice to sound smooth and sexy. The player knows what topics of conversation will stimulate her interest and before the night is over he gets her number. The more expert players may even take her out that night or have sex with her.

At this point you are probably thinking their is no downside to being a player. You would be wrong, the player is only after one thing, sex, not that there is anything wrong with that guys, but is it what you want. If you are the type of guy who wants a long relationship, are exceptionally honest, and think you wanna be a player you would not be happy. Consider the possible downsides:

Repercussions of lying

Even though players may get more sex than you may it often comes at a price. I had a friend who considered himself a smooth player. He used to brag about his sexual exploits all the time and I have seen him date tons of stunning women so I know they were true. To be so successful at dating players have to lie and deceive women and one day it caught up with my friend.

After picking up a woman the night before and bringing her back to his place to have sex with he overslept the next morning. By the time he woke up his overnight guest had run into another girlfriend of his. A girl had been seeing for several weeks and invited over for a morning hookup. When they realized what he was doing, they were furious! They trashed his apartment then went downstairs and trashed his convertible.

I am not trying to say that if you wanna be a player the same thing will happen too you, I’m not even seeing that being a player is necessarily a bad thing, but before you decide to go that route you should truly understand what is involved and what other options there are. Besides the wanna be a player type of guy there are the nice guys, the celebrities, even the geek and their truly are advantages and disadvantages to each type.

Honestly, the best approach is probably being true to you, just learning to include into your dating game skills that women find attractive. Though you might think being a player looks like a lot of fun it may involve a lot more time than you are willing to invest. Just increasing your ability to approach a woman, being able to speak about interesting topics and letting her see your interest would be much faster.

Sneaking Around

If you wanna be a player you may also end up developing a reputation around town. It is a smart idea if trying to be a player to be a little low key with your dates so women do not find out about each other and get jealous and vindictive. I have a friend who is a player and has to keep up the cost of having several cell phones to keep up with all the calls from women he receives. He even has a second home for when it starts to get too much and he needs a little alone time, most of the time he cannot even keep all the girls straight. If my friend had instead used the “start to finish” dating method he would be able to be honest about his intentions and openly date 2 or 3 girls at once without their being any jealousy or hurt feelings too worry about.

Guys with the most dating success do not:

Spend a ton of money on women. Women are attracted to them because of their personality and charm.

Tell lies or exaggerate to hold a woman’s attention. Smart guys realize they are worthy of dating beautiful women regardless of how much they make, where they live or what kind of car they drive.

Juggle several girls at once. They know what women want and need to hear, able to be honest and tell a woman they want an open relationship and see as many women as they want on the side.

After reading all this guys, I only have one question. Do you still wanna be a player?

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: How to be a Player, Wanna Be a Player, Modern Man, Pick Up Artists

posted by BuddyF on Jan 5

The problem with shyness among guys is that it makes a man feel like he is out of control. Shy guys don’t just lack confidence in their abilities to attract and pick up women. They are often afraid of being rejected and don’t like to take the risk of putting the situation into a woman’s hands. So instead, they do nothing.

Shyness is a lonely lifestyle. Shy guys have few friends and when they do have friends; they tend to be the guy who hangs around in the background. Deferring to what his more opinionated and confident friends think the shy guy does not stand up for himself or make his thoughts and opinions known in the group.

With women, the shy guy rarely gets noticed and when he does, it is not likely to be in a positive light. Most shy guys approach a woman and promptly freeze up, if you cannot speak and have no idea how to make small talk or get a woman laughing then the likelihood that she will give you her phone number or have sex with you is remote. If men want to be successful at dating and learn what women want they have to be willing to come out of their shells.

The first steps

The first step a guy should take in overcoming shyness is finding out why you are shy. If you have been shy your whole life, then it probably means you have never take the time needed to develop a more dominant personality. If you become shy after having a particularly traumatic rejection from a woman, get over it! Seriously, one rejection should not have the power to scar you for life; rejection is a natural part of life. Sometimes you get the job you want, the girl of your dreams and the house you want, sometimes however you just don’t win.

The trick is not accepting the situations where you lose. Instead, you want to learn why you lost to prevent the same thing from happening again. It always surprises guys when I say this, but with the right training and approach, you can almost eliminate the chances that a woman will reject you.

Start becoming a leader

Shy guys do not participate in their lives or the lives of others around them, they exist in autopilot, too afraid to make waves and get attention. What they do not seem to realize is that there is nothing wrong with receiving attention. Guys who get to sleep with girls and date the women you want are able to do so because they don’t blend into the background they stand out from it.

Just take a chance. The next time you go out to any place where you can meet women and you see a girl you like do the exact opposite of your normal routine. Instead of standing around sitting in a dark shadow or staying at the table while your friends dance and have fun, make a move.

Make eye contact and walk over to her, smile and just relax around her. Shyness often causes guys to get extremely nervous when talking to beautiful women, making them trip, knock items over and come across as a little goofy. Avoid this problem by taking a deep breath and approaching her as if she is a friend you already know, causing the tension to leave your body and allowing you to act more naturally.

Remember to be you

I have seen shy guys try to overcompensate for being shy by lying and telling all kinds of wild exploits. I even had a friend who would often walk up to a woman and tell her he was an Olympic champion weight lifter, since he weighed a good hundred and fifty pounds soaking wet women did not buy this line. It only made my friend come off as desperate and untrustworthy.

Shy guys do not have to put on an act to attract hot women, you want to become relaxed and be more open. You do not want to look like a pathetic guy who would do anything in order to get a date. If you have trouble with shyness when talking to beautiful women get the help from a female friend. This should be a friend you have no sexual desire in for this to work. You are simply going to use her as your guinea pig, allowing you to try out what pick up lines work when picking up women and which fall flat.

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: Shyness, Overcoming Shyness, Shyness Cure

posted by BuddyF on Jan 5

Every guy knows the tale of the tortoise and the hare. The boastful and mean spirited hare thinks he is better and faster than everyone around him is, so he challenges the slow tortoise to a race. Of course the cocky hare is winning at the beginning so he, sure that the tortoise could never beat him in a race takes a break in the shade.

The strong and smart tortoise however, does not give up. He keeps on going and as he approaches the finish line, the hare wakes up and starts to race towards the end. Of course it’s too late and the tortoise “slow but steady” actually wins! You are probably thinking the tale of the tortoise and the hare is a great moral for young children, but does it have any significance to dating? I think it does.

Nice guys finish last, a statement we have all probably said a hundred times. Especially when we see a cocky guy walk up to the women we were just about to approach, but instead of walking up ourselves we give up. Guys we still have a lot to learn from the tortoise and here are seven simple lessons directly from his expertise:

1. Be brave: When the tortoise was racing the hare, nice guys finish last had to be going through his mind. Everyone thought he was being unrealistic and setting himself up for failure by even racing against the hare, what he proved however is that winners make their own luck. There are no guarantees and having looks, speed, money or whatever other advantage that your rival has does not mean you still cannot win the ultimate prize, the girl you want.

2. Keep applying yourself: Dating is a just like running a race, it can be equally bitter and sweet, but if you give up you can never win, you just made it that much easier for the other guy. Practicing is never a bad idea, once you lock eyes with the girl you want, take just a few seconds to plan your approach then make a move.

3. Move ahead: The turtle not only won the race; he kept on going through incredible odds against him. A rejection or two should not deter you from asking out the perfect girl for you. Most women are appreciative of a man who has the courage to step up and let her know he wants a relationship and when you step up nice guys finish last no more!

4. Have some self-confidence: I have seen and heard it all and sometimes I even said it myself. There is no such thing as not being good enough to date or thinking you have to look a certain way or have a huge bank account. What you have to have is confidence. There are guys who are dating successes who do not even have jobs or a car. Meaning their is no reason why you cannot be just as successful as they are.

5. Do not let others stop you: Dating troubles can often be traced to other sources of friction in your life. If your are the type of guy who always relies on the advice and opinion of others that might be the biggest problem. You have to have confidence in your choices and ability to pick a woman who is right for you. Just because your friends do not think a certain woman is right for you, this is their problem not yours.

6. Be steady: Nice guys finish last because they do not have emotional strength, the ability to resist and remain strong in their actions and deeds regardless of everyone around them. To remake your dating life you have to believe you deserve to have sex with the hottest smartest women on the planet. You should be the type of guy who is able to stay in control, being unable to be intimidated or scared. This way the girl you like will appreciate and respect your strength.

7. Show integrity: Sadly, honesty seems to be overrated when dating, and nice guys finish last many times because they have integrity and do not understand how their honesty can be a trait that brings women to them instead of turning them away. No matter what you may have heard, women do not want to be told lies or hurt in a relationship. You can start being honest from the moment you speak to a girl, tell her how attractive you find her, there is no power lost in letting a woman know she turns you on. Be honest with her about your expectations in a relationship as well, women are attracted to man who are upfront about what they want.

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: Nice Guy Syndrome , Nice Guys Finish Last, Nice Guys Finish First

posted by BuddyF on Jan 5

The nice guy is a good guy to be around. He is accommodating, he is thoughtful, he is considerate, he is helpful and of course, he is nice. The problem with the nice guy however, is that to women he is just a wet blanket. The type of guy who works great as a friend and that she will talk and gossip with. She however, does not want to sleep with him, in fact by the time a woman takes you out shopping with her or tells you all about her dates with other guys she does not even see you as a person with male genital, you are just another girlfriend.

You need to make some chances in your dating skills if:

- Women do not really seem to see you

- You never have any success asking out beautiful women

- You are tired of being the best friend to the girl you are secretly in love with

- Sex is rare and never with the girl you really want.

- You are tired of being rejected and feeling like a loser

- You don’t have tons of money to spend chasing women around

Just as bad, is how guys treat the nice guy. He is the butt of their jokes, the guy he uses when out in public to show women just how attractive he is. When out in a group of couple the nice guy is the one who may buy the drinks for everyone and hold their table. I even had a friend who had to hold the purses for the ladies; it was a humiliating experience for him and forced him to think about reforming his nice guy image.

We often here about the bad boy having to reform, heck there are even reform schools all around the world that teach these guys how to straighten up their act, but sadly there are very few schools and even fewer individuals with the training and knowledge to help nice guys get a little edge. There are ways that you can use to learn how to shed the nice guy image and embrace the strong independent you that has been trapped inside. It is time to unleash your alter ego.

Every guy has an alter ego, the person they really want to be deep down inside that knows exactly how to interact with woman. Think about it for a minute. Whenever you see a woman and you imagine the perfect way to approach her, what goes through your mind? When I was younger, I imagined myself being James Bond, the cool, sophisticated spy that never got turned down and was able to get any woman hot with a little charm. My best friend David always pretended to be some hilarious comic he saw doing standup one night and it worked for him. Within a minute or two of walking up to a girl he would have her laughing hysterically.

The same approach can work for you, the nice guy and it its pretty simple to learn. Be honest and think about the best dating approaches you have ever seen. Study your favorite movies, TV shows and books if you need a little assistance or you want to emulate a favorite character of yours. The trick is not to intimidate or pretend to be someone else, your alter ego is not a made up idea of you. It is a freer version of you, you without society pressures or any other worries holding you back.

Think about how this approach is going to work before you use it. For myself, I can emulate a lot about James Bond, but I cannot rappel into a building and I don’t have dozens of high tech weapons or cars to impress the women I meet. Instead, I focus on how James Bond spoke to women. Able to make them feel special with a simple look or kiss on the hand. His appeal also had a lot to do with how he carried himself, completely self-confident and at ease. Think about how you can use your alter ego to develop dating courage, maybe going so far as to update your style of wardrobe and create the whole persona you are looking to create.

Whatever you choose to do, do not let the nice guy problem dominate your dating relationships for another day. Hot sex, hot women and hot nights are all just around the corner if you are willing to shed your boring safe image and unleash your exciting alter ego.

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: The Nice Guy Syndrome , Are You The Nice Guy? , Nice Guys Finish First

posted by BuddyF on Jan 5

The nice guy syndrome is a plague that has tormented and ruined the lives of many men. This may sound like overkill to you but it is real and must be stopped. The nice guy syndrome is a disease affecting perfectly normal man, in any country of any race or religion. This nice guy illness attacks the heart and brain of a normal guy convincing him he has to overly sensitive, helpful, accommodating, patient and spend money in order to date and get sex with attractive women.

The side effects associated with this condition include, reduced bank balances due to spending on women, feelings of helplessness and confusion as nice guys wonder why they still are not having sex. The condition also has an effect on women, sending out some invisible shield that makes her place nice guys in the safe, “just friends” zone, further preventing the nice guy from having sex. To make matters even worse the nice guy, looses self-confidence and feels the only way to get a woman is by spending more and giving more, further sinking him into a repeating cycle of doom.

Thankfully guys there is not just a treatment for nice guy syndrome, there is a cure! Several techniques existing for curing this date wrecking condition and giving you the power you want in a relationship. To fully break free of the nice guy problem men should:

Stop dating: Not for forever, not even for any extended period of time, just one week. Just enough time to complete the steps mentioned here and put them to use in your life.

Field observations: One of the best ways to research a problem is too do a little real life surveillance. Though you are not actively looking to hook up you will be looking for attractive women and noticing what guys come up to them and what happens. Does she reject a guy immediately? Walk away? Turn her head if he attempts to make eye contact?

Pay attention to the guys who approach the girls: To figure out why a guy was rejected or given a girl’s phone number, pay attention to his approach. His clothes, hair, charm, smile, body language and conversation skills could be working for him or turning her off. Try this at several different locations to get an accurate understanding of what happens, bars, clubs, restaurants, parties, stores, anywhere that a large number of women and man happen to be.

Compile your research

Look at the results you wrote down to start understanding which guys suffer from nice guy syndrome, you will probably notice several common traits they seem to have in confidence.

- Body language: Though they are approaching a woman and asking her out, their body language is actually closed off. Walking with arms hunched up to the neck, eyes and head down are not attractive and comes across as a lack of real interest in the woman.

- Nerves: The main symptom of nice guy syndrome is a high case of nerves. Making him flush red and practically swallow his tongue when speaking to gorgeous women. Of course, the nice guy rarely speaks to the girl of his dreams since he is unable to close the deal and actually ask her out.

- Self Doubt: Nice guys never have any confidence in their ability to attract women, often saying they don’t find themselves attractive and stating that they don’t think a woman would ever be willing to date them. This can also be seen in what types of women they choose to ask out. Nice guys tend to settle for average girls too afraid too ask out the smoking hot girls they see at the bar.

Start dating again

Now that you have learned the effects of the nice guy syndrome, your goal is to date in the real world and learn from the examples of the guys who showed confidence in themselves when dating women.

- Body language: Stand up straight guys you deserve to have any woman in the room. Make eye contact and do not back down, smile and flirt when you approach.

- Talk: You do not have to be Einstein when talking to a woman just the ability to speak in complete sentences and talk about something. Pick a topic and naturally discuss it with her, charm her and keep her laughing.

- Act like you believe in yourself: Throwing yourself out their in the dating world after being the nice guy can take a little adjustment period. If you don’t yet feel like you deserve to date the hot girls or feel out of place, just suck it up. No one has to know if you lack confidence unless you tell them. Fake it until you start to believe it and overcome the nice guy syndrome.

Buddy Franklin is a dating advice guru. He recommends: Nice Guy Syndrome , The Nice Guy , Nice Guys Finish Last